


+ Shadows +

by lizwillstealyourgirl



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Angst, Crying, Depression, Fluff, Kissing, M/M, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicidal actions
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-03
Updated: 2016-01-03
Packaged: 2018-05-11 08:21:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5620012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lizwillstealyourgirl/pseuds/lizwillstealyourgirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em> couldn't. wouldn't. shouldn't. didn't. </em>
</p><p>  Or, perhaps, when Dan thinks dark thoughts but doesn't act, and Phil does dark things without thinking.</p>
            </blockquote>





	+ Shadows +

**Author's Note:**

> this is a fic about dan & phil basically dan wants to die but he refuses to do so and phil doesnt really think much but he kinda goes for it
> 
> its rlly bad sorry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _couldn't. wouldn't. shouldn't. didn't._
> 
> Or, perhaps, when Dan thinks dark thoughts but doesn't act, and Phil does dark things without thinking.

**\+ Prologue +**

 

  He remembered how it started; every bit. Every fibre of his being felt drawn to the memory, like his soul was a giant, sad magnet and the past was a whiteboard; erased but not empty. _He was a shadow._

 

  **Phil Lester** was not particularly unhappy, he was just not interested in participating in the things others were. He preferred to stay in his lonesome, surrounded by the torn papers and pencil shavings of his room. He was happy with his life, even if it didn't appear so.

 

  He was given a fine childhood, though sometimes _shaky_ , and he was pretty much okay. He stayed happy most of his life; he graduated high school, university, and moved on to become an artist like his dreams said to. While his parents wished he had chosen something more academic or professional, **he** only wished he had made the choice of art sooner.

 

  _And how it happened?_ How it happened was like God - _if there is a God_ \- raining down beauty on Phil in the form of wrath. A sweet, funny, heart eyed _demon_ by the name of  Daniel Howell, whom Phil couldn't **wait** to get his soul taken from.

 

**+**

 

 He wasn't _trying_ to get caught, he just did. _Thinking, running, hiding._ He was looking for safety, away his thoughts. If he hadn't been caught, he would still be lost, **comfortably in the shadows.**

 

  **Dan Howell's** smile, contagious yet fake, stayed plastered across his lip like a sore. He made people laugh with his silly jokes, written of satire and sarcasm. He wasn't really funny, although he pretended. His motto was something along the lines of, _fake it until you make it_.

 

  He didn't have a **bad life.** He was popular, and attractive, and people liked his humour and his talent. But something kept him from being happy. Whether it was his self loathe, or the doubts of his parents, or the emptiness he couldn't stop inside his heart; he was unhappy, and there was no one who could make his **fake** smile **real**.

 

  _Until he met Phil_. **Maybe** he hated the blue eyed monster. **Maybe** he loved him. Either way, he could feel a real life, actual, not fake smile dancing across his lips and stars in his eyes every time Phil came around.  Phil Lester was a dark, scary, love eyed _rainstorm_ that Dan couldn't **wait** to dance in.

**Author's Note:**

> this is a fic about dan & phil basically dan wants to die but he refuses to do so and phil doesnt really think much but he kinda goes for it
> 
> its rlly bad sorry


End file.
